How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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