How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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