How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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