How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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