How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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