How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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