How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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