How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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