How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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