How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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