How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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