How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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