How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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