How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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