How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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