How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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