How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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