How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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