How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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