How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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