How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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