How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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