How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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