How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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