How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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