How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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