How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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