How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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