How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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