How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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