How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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