How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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