How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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