How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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