How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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