How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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