How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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