How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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