How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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