How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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