How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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