How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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