How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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