How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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