How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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