How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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