How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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