How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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