How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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