How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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