How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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