How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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