How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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