How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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