How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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