How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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