How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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