How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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