How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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