How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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