How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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