How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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