How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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