How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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