How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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