How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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