How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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