How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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