How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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