How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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