How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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