How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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