How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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