How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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