How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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