How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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