How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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