How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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