How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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