How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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