How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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