How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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