How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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