How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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