How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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