How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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