How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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