How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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