How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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