How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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