How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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