How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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