How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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