How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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