How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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