How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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