How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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