How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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