How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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