How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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