How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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