How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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