How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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