How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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