How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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