How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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