How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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