How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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