How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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