How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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