How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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