How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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