How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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