How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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