How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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