How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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