How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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