How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!


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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.

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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge

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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.

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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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