How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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