How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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