How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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