How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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