How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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