How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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