How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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