How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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