How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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