How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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