How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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