How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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