How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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