How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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