How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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