How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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