How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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