How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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