How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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