How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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