How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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