How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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