How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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