How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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