How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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