How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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