How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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