How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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