How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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