How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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