How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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