How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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