How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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