How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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