How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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