How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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