How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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