How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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