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How does a dog stop a video?
He presses the paws button.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did the alien say to the cat?
Take me to your litter.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?
I scream!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?
No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?
They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?
Because it's two tired!
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Why do cows go to New York?
To see the moosicals
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