How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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