How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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