How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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