How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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