How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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