How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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