How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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