How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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