How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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