How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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