How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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