How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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