How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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