How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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