How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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