How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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