How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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