How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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