How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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