How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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