How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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