How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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