How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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