How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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