How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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