How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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