How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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