How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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