How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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