How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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