How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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