How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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