How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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