How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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