How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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