How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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