How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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