How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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