How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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