How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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