How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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