How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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