How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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