How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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