How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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