How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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