How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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